Recently, an acquaintance told me that her 16-year-old sister wants to drink alcohol. Alcohol is a topic that I, as an aspiring health scientist, am constantly concerned with, and probably also with many parents whose children are reaching the age where alcohol is discussed.
Therefore, I would like to present some tips today that I think might be helpful when the question "Am I allowed to drink alcohol?" first arises.
Children often look to their parents for guidance. Therefore, children frequently observe how their parents deal with alcohol – thus, parents can influence what their children are exposed to.
Sometimes it helps to ask yourself:
- How often do I want to drink during the week – on special occasions, only on weekends, only in the evening, etc.?
- What are my occasions for drinking, and should my child be exposed to these?
- Do I want to show my child that I set limits regarding alcohol?
- Is it okay with me if my child sees me drunk?
Clear agreements are important – ideally made together
I often see parents setting limits for their children – especially when their child wants to go to a party with alcohol for the first time. My experience has been that children are more likely to stick to agreements if they have a say in making them. Therefore, it can be helpful if these rules are agreed upon together.
This agreement could include things like:
- At what age am I allowed to drink?
- How often am I allowed to drink?
- On what occasions am I allowed to drink?
- What am I allowed to drink?
- How much am I allowed to drink?
- What are the consequences if I drink more than agreed upon?
If, however, the child does happen to break the agreed-upon rules, it might help to have a calm conversation together to find out why. For example, I remember an acquaintance of mine often drinking more than she had agreed upon with her parents because many of her friends were already allowed to drink more, and she wanted to feel like she belonged.
From my own experience, I know that drinking habits can vary greatly among friends – and that's perfectly fine. All parents have different views on alcohol, and so agreements with their own children can also be individual.
However, I think it's also important to recognize the child's needs. Every child has a different attitude towards alcohol – some want to drink, others choose to abstain completely. Every attitude should be accepted by everyone involved.
What is legally permitted?
Are you unsure what your child is allowed to drink? The German Youth Protection Act will tell you! Did you know, for example, that beer cannot be sold to anyone under 16, neither in supermarkets nor in clubs? And that spirits and similar drinks are only allowed from the age of 18?
The topic of alcohol often raises questions for parents. It can also lead to discussions or arguments if rules are not followed or if a child's alcohol consumption worries the parents. But the good news is: there are many counseling centers that address precisely these issues!
Many organizations offer advice and support – regionally and nationwide
Furthermore, affected young people and their parents can also contact local pediatricians and specialized child and adolescent psychiatrists or psychotherapists. For initial appointments, it is possible to contact the appointment service of the Association of Statutory Health Insurance Physicians . Most health insurance companies also offer information.
Advice and support services in Bremen:
- Network Self-Help Bremen-North Lower Saxony eV.
- German Red Cross Bremen, FreD program (For young people and adolescents up to 25 years old)
- ReBUZ Bremen, Addiction Risk (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Outpatient addiction support Bremen (For young people aged 17 and over and parents/relatives)
- Support groups for addiction (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Escape – Outpatient clinic for young people with addiction problems (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Mädchenhaus Bremen eV (For girls* and young women*)
- Together against addiction (For parents/relatives)
Nationwide online and telephone counselling:
- Alcohol? Know your limit. (For teenagers)
- Check yourself – drugcom.de (Information for young people and parents/relatives)
- Caritas Online Counseling – Addiction Counseling
- "Change your Drinking" program – drugcom.de (For young people)
- ELSA Parent Counselling (For Parents)
- Blue Cross (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Good Templars in Germany (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Young Cross Association (For young people and parents/relatives)
- No Power to Drugs – Addiction Prevention (For Parents/Relatives)
Hotlines:
- Good Templars Helpline for Addiction (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Addiction & Drugs Hotline (BZgA)
General advice for worries and sorrows:
- Helpline for Children and Young People
- Helpline for Parents'
- bke youth counselling (chat, forum, email counselling)
- bke parent counselling (forum, group chat, individual counselling)
Or inquire at the Bremen family network about suitable positions.
Emmelie Rupp is in her 5th semester studying Public Health at the University of Bremen and completed her internship at familiennetz bremen until the end of February 2022.