The other day, when I parked my bike at the train station, I overheard a group of young girls smoking marijuana before school started. One of the girls then said to her friends, "Well, now I can go home again, nobody saw me.".
As a parent, how would you deal with this situation if you accidentally found out that your child was secretly smoking marijuana?
The topic of cannabis, which I, as an aspiring health scientist, am constantly concerned with, often unsettles parents and raises the question of how to handle it correctly.
Talking about cannabis
If you're planning to talk to your child about cannabis, you should prepare for the conversation. You can do this by:
- You are researching cannabis: What do you know about cannabis? Are you aware of the potential risks? Can you argue objectively with this basic knowledge?
- Make yourself aware of your stance: Do you not want to tolerate any consumption at all? Is occasional consumption okay with you?
- When defining your goals: What do you expect from the conversation? What should change? But please remain realistic and keep in mind that changes take time and don't happen instantly.
- Pay attention to a quiet, comfortable environment and choose a suitable moment.
Perhaps you're familiar with this: You're worried and want to talk to your child about it. You start explaining your concerns and wait for a response, but nothing comes, or your child gets annoyed and shuts down. For a good conversation to take place, your child also needs to want to talk to you.
Stay calm!
If you feel that you have succeeded in this and that you are on equal footing with your child, your child will probably be much more willing to listen to your concerns about smoking marijuana.
The following tips can help you in a conversation:
- The most important thing in this situation is to remain calm. This isn't always easy, but hasty actions rarely help.
- If you find that you can no longer remain calm, end the conversation and leave the room. Try again at a later time.
- Examine your own experiences: Did you perhaps smoke marijuana in the past? What were your reasons? What experiences did you have?
- Stay honest: If your child asks you questions, you should answer them truthfully.
- Ask questions that interest you: Why do you smoke weed? What exactly do you like about it? How often do you smoke? It's a good idea to choose questions that can't simply be answered with yes or no – this encourages your child to think more deeply about the questions.
- Openly express your feelings: Are you worried, angry, or disappointed? Share your thoughts and your attitude.
- If your child tries to explain something to you, you should let them speak, listen and show interest.
- To make your child feel comfortable and trust you, it's important that you don't make assumptions or accusations. Avoid lecturing and statements like, "If you don't stop smoking weed, then…".
- Try to find out if your child is informed about cannabis. Teenagers often only know about the positive effects. Therefore, it's important that you also talk about the risks.
- Discuss together how to proceed: Set goals and think about how you can achieve them – How can I help you? Where can I support you? What do you want to do yourself?
Cannabis use among young people often leads to uncertainty and questions. How can I deal with this situation? Who can help me? Who can answer my questions? Various counseling centers can help you with your questions.
Advisory and support services
In Bremen:
- Network Self-Help Bremen-North Lower Saxony eV.
- German Red Cross Bremen, FreD program (For young people and adolescents up to 25 years old)
- ReBUZ Bremen, Addiction Risk (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Outpatient addiction support Bremen (For young people aged 17 and over and parents/relatives)
- Support groups for addiction (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Escape – Outpatient clinic for young people with addiction problems (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Mädchenhaus Bremen eV (For girls* and young women*)
- Together against addiction (For parents/relatives)
Nationwide online and telephone counselling:
- Quit the Shit – drugcom.de (For young people)
- Cannabis prevention (BZgA) (Information for young people, parents/relatives and professionals)
- Check yourself – drugcom.de (Information for young people and parents/relatives)
- Caritas Online Counseling – Addiction Counseling
- ELSA Parent Counselling (For Parents)
- Blue Cross (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Good Templars in Germany (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Young Cross Association (For young people and parents/relatives)
- No Power to Drugs – Addiction Prevention (For Parents/Relatives)
Hotlines:
- Good Templars Helpline for Addiction (For young people and parents/relatives)
- Addiction & Drugs Hotline (BZgA)
General advice for worries and sorrows:
- Helpline for Children and Young People
- Helpline for Parents'
- bke youth counselling (chat, forum, email counselling)
- bke parent counselling (forum, group chat, individual counselling)
Or inquire at the Bremen family network about suitable positions.
Emmelie Rupp is in her 5th semester studying Public Health at the University of Bremen and completed her internship at familiennetz bremen until the end of February 2022.